reflections...

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from Your presence, and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. 

Psalm 51:10-12

I've spent the majority of today alone, which somehow always ends with me thinking about life. Being that it's January 1, 2011, my thoughts have been focused on the year of 2010. Whenever I've thought about this year, the above verse always comes to my mind. I guess you could say it's been the theme of this past year. Through the Lord continually breaking my idols, renewing and transforming my way of thinking, and shattering what I held as ultimate dreams, He has shown His intimate devotion, passion, love, and pursuit of my heart and His glory.

He's continually creating in me a clean heart. He's given me eyes to see the world through the gospel and His love. No longer is my waitress someone here to serve me, but I'm here to serve them. No longer is the Wal-Mart cashier another human being, but a soul who will one day meet their Maker. No longer are my parents the people who I take for granted expect to always love me, but those who I must fight daily to love them with all my being. (and to add - I'm so thankful for their continual patience and grace for me! I'm a mess!)

He's in the business of renewing a right spirit in me. He's showing me I cannot take pride in my Christian liberties. Just because I have the "right" to do something, doesn't mean I should. Instead of looking at a situation of "how much can I get away with" the Holy Spirit has me look at it as "how can I best glorify the Lord? How can I most reflect His person and work?" He has shown me the great sacrifice He paid for my soul- my life was bought with a price. Glorifying Him with my entire being is not a suggestion, but a command.

In spite of my sin, He has not cast me away. He won't. In spite of my rebellious nature, He will not remove His Holy Spirit. John 10:27-30 says, "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. I and the Father are one."  No one will ever snatch me from the hands of my Jesus. I am HIS. He adopted me and made me His daughter. This is incredible and astounding to me! In His grace and love, He has pursued me and won me. Forever.

Every day, He continually restores the joy of my salvation. He willingly holds me. He restores my soul...He leads me in the paths of righteousness for HIS NAMES SAKE. (Psalm 23) In brokenness, in confession, in joy, in sorrow, in love, in hope, in peace, in joy, in contentment, in discontentment...He restores me. He reminds me of my salvation. He reminds me (in specific ways) the joy I felt when I was first saved. I remember singing "I am a C. I am a C-H. I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N!" as a young girl. THAT same joy He has restored to me.

All of this...all of this He's done for Himself. For His glory. For His renown. The number one thing He has taught me this past year is that this life is about Him. It's not about us. It's about Him...and how incredible is it that He is glorified when we are joyful? When we are fully satisfied in Him? John 10:10 says He has come to give us life and give it abundantly. Where is abundant life found? IN JESUS!

I'm nowhere where I thought I would be at 26 and I praise the Lord for it. How He has worked in my life this past year is nothing short of beautiful and I can't imagine being anywhere else. I am safe in His arms.

I've tasted and I've seen, God, You good.

You're worth it all.

Happy 2011. :) Here's to the road ahead!!!