The Rock that is Higher than I

We can best help others with their fears and distresses when we have been through our own and found God faithful. 

Tim Keller 

This quote has been swirling around in my mind a lot lately. It is in God taking us through our fears and our afflictions that we come to see His faithfulness, His comfort, His love. It’s not meant to end on us merely experiencing these things; but on us using those experiences to minister to others by proclaiming the goodness of God in the faithfulness, comfort, and love that is also abundantly available to them.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

My conversations with single women in pain have increased during this pandemic, which makes a lot of sense. Physical isolation and fear of touch has been thrown upon us, and it has led to a whole lot of hurt and even more questions about “Where is God in this?” I’ve gotten to share more and more about my own experiences and how the Lord has not only met me exactly where I am, despite my own debilitating weakness, but has provided nearness and joy in a way nothing and no one else ever could. I love Him more today than I ever thought possible, and His care for me has been more tender than I ever could have imagined. In this post, I hope to encourage and comfort you where you are today. Because chances are, I’ve been there- and in many ways, I still am. But the coincidal nature of grief and joy is something I’m very acquainted with, and it’s something that every one of us, on this side of eternity, will become acquainted with if we are not yet already. I hope to clearly point you to the only One who will truly satisfy your heart and give you abundant and lasting hope.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you. You are being guarded by God’s power through faith for a salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. You rejoice in this, even though now for a short time, if necessary, you suffer grief in various trials so that the proven character of your faith—more valuable than gold which, though perishable, is refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him; though not seeing him now, you believe in him, and you rejoice with inexpressible and glorious joy, because you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1:3-9

Starting off, I want to acknowledge this: being single during a pandemic is HARD. Being single and living alone during a pandemic is even harder. This is okay. It’s okay to say it’s hard and honestly, it’s okay to just sit in the hard for a bit. But today, I want to remind you of this: you don’t sit in this alone. Ever. Bring your exhaustion and weariness to the Lord; He’s not afraid of your pain or annoyed by your struggle.

God, hear my cry; pay attention to my prayer. I call to You from the ends of the earth when my heart is without strength. Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I, for You have been a refuge for me, a strong tower in the face of the enemy. I will dwell in Your tent forever and take refuge under the shelter of Your wings.

Psalm 61:1-4

I was 12 years old the first time I really thought about my dreams, that I considered my future. I sat on the edge of my bed, held my stomach, and cried as I prayed over my children that would one day grow there. Abnormal for a 6th grader? Yes. But very on par for me. :) The prayers for children and the prayers for a husband began then and honestly, they have never ceased. There have been a few times I have believed those prayers were being answered; I have been seen by men I admired, but after briefly taking me in, they have chosen to walk away. Hurt and rejection have been markers in my singleness that have thrust me into my Father's arms. And albeit the hurt, those prayers have continued. I’ve prayed, nearly every day for over 2 decades, that the Lord would give me these gifts. Has God heard these prayers? Yes. Not one of them has fallen on deaf ears. Not one of them has been wasted. So, how do I reconcile that considering I am 35 years old and those dreams have not been realized? I reconcile it by looking to Him and trusting in His promises that are a yes and amen through Christ Jesus. I reconcile it by remembering, day after day after day, that HE is my greatest treasure, that HE is what is best, that communion with HIM is the answer to all of my longings.

Remember Your word to Your servant, in which You have made me hope. This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your promise gives me life.

Psalm 119:49-50

Whatever is in the cup that God is offering to me, whether it be pain and sorrow and suffering and grief along with the many more joys, I'm willing to take it because I trust Him. Because I know that what God wants for me is the very best. I will receive this thing in His name. I need pain sometimes because God has something bigger in mind. It is never for nothing. And so I say Lord, in Jesus' name, by Your grace I accept it.

Elisabeth Elliot

Just like you, the last few months have been challenging for me. While there have been moments of joy, moments of believing the Lord to be answering specific prayers of many years, moments of laughter and glee; there have been many more moments of hurt and pain, night after night of tears, of turning to the Lord in my weakness and need. There’s nothing quite like the sting of heart hurt is there? It’ll lead you to do one of two things: you will either fall into the arms of grace, believing that “He is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18) or you will pivot your gaze from the Maker and seek to find comfort or fulfillment in something He created. I’ve done both over the years; even both over the last couple of months. But by His grace, the longer I know Him and experience the transformative nature of His grace and love, the more quickly I not only fall into His arms, but I run to them, because it’s there that I know I will find comfort, healing, and life that only He can give. It’s there I find acceptance and fulfillment. It’s there I am home.

Yet I am always with You; You hold my right hand. You guide me with Your counsel, and afterward You will take me up in glory. Who do I have in heaven but You? And I desire nothing on earth but You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, my portion forever… As for me, God’s presence is my good. I have made the Lord God my refuge, so I can tell about all You do. 

Psalm 73:23-27, 29

When the answer is no, then we know that God has something better at stake. There is another level, another kingdom, an invisible kingdom which you and I cannot see now but toward which we move to which we belong. 

Elisabeth Elliot

I find nights to be most difficult. When the busyness of the day is done and I climb into my bed, alone, the quietness of the night becomes a place where I can experience deep turmoil. I have an incredible memory and have since I was a child. This is a blessing when it comes to ministry. Chances are I’ll not only remember your name after meeting you once, but I’ll remember specific details of our conversation. But this gift of memory can easily be turned into something that creates chaos. I replay conversations, relive experiences; the “what if...” or “I wish I had/hadn’t…” games of regret and shame are very real, and it’s there that I quickly forget who God is. Maybe you’re the same way. I believe in those moments, at our most vulnerable, the enemy will try to find a way to sneak into the weakened spaces of our minds and the crevices of our hearts. He’ll lay temptations before us that appear to be sweet, he’ll whisper lies that seem to be true, and he’ll lead us to places of deep dismay. But God… the two sweetest words in Scripture.

When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.

Psalm 94:19 

 We’re not adrift in chaos. We’re held in the everlasting arms. And therefore, and this makes a difference, we can be at peace and we can accept. We can say yes, Lord, I’ll take it. The faculty by which I apprehend God is the faculty of faith. And my faith enables me to say, “Yes, Lord…” I know the One who is in charge of the universe. He’s got the whole world where? In His hands. And that’s where I am. 

Elisabeth Elliot 

Combating lies with the truth is how we fight this war that is raging, not only around us, but oftentimes in us. Ephesians 6 says that we wrestle “against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly place.” (vs. 12) And that is why we put on the armor of God and fight with the Word of God, with Truth.


Lies we are prone to believe in our singleness (and pretty much in any life stage) and truth to put those lies to death:

• I am alone (Be strong and courageous; don’t be terrified or afraid of them. For the Lord your God is the one who will go with you; He will not leave you or abandon you. Deuteronomy 31:6)
• I am unworthy (Aren’t two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father’s consent. But even the hairs of your head have all been counted. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31)
• I am unloved (What, then, are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us He did not even spare his own Son but gave him up for us all. How will he not also with him grant us everything? Who can bring an accusation against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies. Who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is the one who died, but even more, has been raised; he also is at the right hand of God and intercedes for us. Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Can affliction or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “Because of you we are being put to death all day long; we are counted as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:31-39)
• I am unseen (Lord, you have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I stand up; you understand my thoughts from far away. You observe my travels and my rest; you are aware of all my ways. Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began. God, how precious your thoughts are to me; how vast their sum is! If I counted them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; when I wake up, I am still with you. Psalm 139:1-3, 16-18)
• God doesn’t really care about me (You Yourself have recorded my wanderings. Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book? Psalm 56:8 || Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken. Psalm 55:22 || Cast all your cares on Him, because He cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7)
• God doesn’t hear my prayer (Blessed be the LORD! For He has heard the sound of my pleading. The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. Therefore my heart celebrates, and I give thanks to Him with my song. Psalm 28:6-7)
• God doesn’t want to give me good gifts (Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Who among you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him. Matthew 7:7-11)
• God has forgotten me (Zion says, “The Lord has abandoned me; the Lord has forgotten me!” “Can a woman forget her nursing child, or lack compassion for the child of her womb? Even if these forget, yet I will not forget you. Look, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; your walls are continually before Me.” Isaiah 49:14-16)
• I’m always going to feel this way (Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me! O Lord, be my helper! ”You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever! Psalm 30:10-12)

One night last week was particularly difficult. It was one of those “dark nights of the soul” that Psalm 42 so eloquently depicts. As I lay there weeping, asking the Lord to help me, He gave me a really beautiful picture of what it means for Him to go before me. Jesus is walking and I’m behind Him, following Him. He’s leading me and guiding me. As He leads, He is shielding me from so much that I cannot see. His blood literally covers my sin; He took the Father’s wrath. He is only letting me experience the trials and griefs He wants me to experience, those that will show me more of Him and make me look more like Him in and through that unique suffering. As we’re walking, I see this overwhelming waterfall that symbolizes the heavy pouring of grief I’m experiencing. As we go under the waterfall, Jesus stops right in the midst of it. He turns around to face me and just holds me as it pours on us. Under that waterfall of grief, I’m not alone. He’s holding me in the grief, bearing so much of it, but still allowing me to experience it. Under that heavy waterfall, He’s letting it pour on me. And it’s pouring on Him too, because He’s the One who is holding me, the One who will one day eradicate every grief I feel, every tear I cry, every loss in this life. He will one day have ultimate and forever victory over these things. Over my hurt. Over my losses. Over the brokenness of this world. Therein lies our hope.

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. We have also obtained access through him by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we boast in the hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. 

Romans 5:1-5

And I’ve come to see that it’s through the deepest suffering that God has taught me the deepest lessons. And if we’ll trust Him for it, we can come through to the unshakable assurance that He’s in charge. He has a loving purpose. And He can transform something terrible into something wonderful. Suffering is never for nothing.

Elisabeth Elliot

Chances are you’ve been under a waterfall of grief yourself this year; if not this year, you have at some point in your life. The tough thing about these is there is no timeline for them. We don’t know how long He’ll have us in those waterfalls, or even the specific reasons why. And as hard as it is to sometimes hear this, we may not ever be privied to the reasons why, and we have to be okay with that. How can we be okay with that? Not only okay, but have peace and hope in the midst of it? It’s because we aren’t alone. He will see His children through. We will not drown in the rushing waters. He is with us. He goes before us. Trials will fortify your faith like nothing else can. Trials will thrust you into His arms, and it truly is THERE that you will know wholeness and fulfillment. Trials create in you a deep longing for His presence, an intimate nearness with Him; one that you will long for once again when that grief has lifted. Trials will give you an eternal perspective; an unshakeable hope in Him and an irresistible desire in you for His return. Press in. Nestle into His arms. Trust He is who He says that He is. He has not abandoned you.

Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Whatever is in the cup that God is offering to me, whether it be pain and sorrow and suffering and grief along with the many more joys, I'm willing to take it because I trust Him. Because I know that what God wants for me is the very best. I will receive this thing in His name. I need pain sometimes because God has something bigger in mind. It is never for nothing. And so I say Lord, in Jesus' name, by Your grace I accept it.

Elisabeth Elliot

I want to conclude with this: I know the days, the months, the years even, can cause you to feel so weary and can be so difficult; but brothers and sisters, please hear me when I say this: Don’t give up. The more you seek Him, the more intimately you’ll know Him. The more intimately you know Him, the deeper you will love Him. The deeper you love Him, the stronger your longing for His return will be. The stronger your longing for His return, the more bought in you will be for the Kingdom work He has called you to. And it is there; loving, serving, and being an active participants and minister of reconciliation, that you will experience the greatest hope and deepest joy. It’s what you were created for. Don’t give up. Jesus is worth every single fiber of your being, every last beat of your heart. And every day as you “press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus,” (Philippians 3:14), He is with you, keeping you and sustaining you. You are so intimately and eternally loved.

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you. “As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight. The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply; their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out or take their names on my lips. The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 16