Am I pursuable?
I think oftentimes we, as women, doubt our worth to humanity, specifically men. Whether we voice it or not, there's a part of us that struggles deeply in this. Even more specific, for the single woman. You don't have a boyfriend, you aren't dating, and no guy seems to have a single bit of romantic affection for you; so you automatically question, "What's wrong with me?" You doubt that you are worthy of pursuit, that you have anything to offer, that there's any beauty in you.
I say this because I have been there, and when I'm not intentional about holding every thought captive to Jesus (2 Corinthians 10:5) I easily slip back into this. I slip back into the fear and insecurity of "Am I going to have to take care of myself my whole life?" - "Will my heart never get to feel those funnies?" - "Is there a guy who wants me to be his?" - "Will I get the chance to raise babies to love and fear Jesus?" and on and on. There is nothing wrong with these desire. Jesus gave them to me. But when my heart is unsettled and fear creeps in, that's a problem. (Perfect love casts away fear. 1 John 4:18) The problem with this is that it's a lack of trust. Oftentimes I want to let myself sit in that doubt and struggle without having to combat it, but I can't. There are clear cut commands in Scripture that tells me (and us) to lay our worries aside and REST. Trust. As a believer, I don't get a break from that. I don't get to take a few hours and sin because I "feel" like it - I am called to lay everything aside, every minute of every day, for the rest of my life, for HIM. For His glory. For my holiness. That's why the road to Jesus is narrow. It's hard.
Matthew 6 says "do not be anxious about your life...which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?...seek FIRST His kingdom."
Jesus says in that section that He notices and cares for the sparrow, a bird of "insignificance." He feeds them and takes care of them and supplies their needs. I AM OF MORE VALUE THAN THEY! I focus on my lack of something here on earth, and therefore LOSE sight of Jesus and all that I have in Him. I AM beautiful because of Him. I AM worthy because of Him. I AM pursuable because of Him. He makes me beautiful so that I can praise Him. He makes me worthy so that I can glorify Him. He makes me pursuable so that I can point to Him. Nothing of this is about me.
Humbling and hard. We can't lose sight of this. I'll say this until I'm blue in the face, but Jesus really IS better. There is no other love that comes close to the love of Christ. There is no other high, no other passion, no other feeling, no other comfort, that is even a fraction of what Christ offers. I refuse to live my life believing something or someone else can satisfy me greater than He can. Despite the dark and lonely hours, despite the nights of continual tears, despite the feelings that seem to boil inside me...HE IS BETTER. I know this and rest in it. All other pursuits pale in comparison to that of Jesus Christ.
I pray this becomes more and more real in my life as each day passes.
Jesus, You are better.
I say this because I have been there, and when I'm not intentional about holding every thought captive to Jesus (2 Corinthians 10:5) I easily slip back into this. I slip back into the fear and insecurity of "Am I going to have to take care of myself my whole life?" - "Will my heart never get to feel those funnies?" - "Is there a guy who wants me to be his?" - "Will I get the chance to raise babies to love and fear Jesus?" and on and on. There is nothing wrong with these desire. Jesus gave them to me. But when my heart is unsettled and fear creeps in, that's a problem. (Perfect love casts away fear. 1 John 4:18) The problem with this is that it's a lack of trust. Oftentimes I want to let myself sit in that doubt and struggle without having to combat it, but I can't. There are clear cut commands in Scripture that tells me (and us) to lay our worries aside and REST. Trust. As a believer, I don't get a break from that. I don't get to take a few hours and sin because I "feel" like it - I am called to lay everything aside, every minute of every day, for the rest of my life, for HIM. For His glory. For my holiness. That's why the road to Jesus is narrow. It's hard.
Matthew 6 says "do not be anxious about your life...which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?...seek FIRST His kingdom."
Jesus says in that section that He notices and cares for the sparrow, a bird of "insignificance." He feeds them and takes care of them and supplies their needs. I AM OF MORE VALUE THAN THEY! I focus on my lack of something here on earth, and therefore LOSE sight of Jesus and all that I have in Him. I AM beautiful because of Him. I AM worthy because of Him. I AM pursuable because of Him. He makes me beautiful so that I can praise Him. He makes me worthy so that I can glorify Him. He makes me pursuable so that I can point to Him. Nothing of this is about me.
Humbling and hard. We can't lose sight of this. I'll say this until I'm blue in the face, but Jesus really IS better. There is no other love that comes close to the love of Christ. There is no other high, no other passion, no other feeling, no other comfort, that is even a fraction of what Christ offers. I refuse to live my life believing something or someone else can satisfy me greater than He can. Despite the dark and lonely hours, despite the nights of continual tears, despite the feelings that seem to boil inside me...HE IS BETTER. I know this and rest in it. All other pursuits pale in comparison to that of Jesus Christ.
I pray this becomes more and more real in my life as each day passes.
Jesus, You are better.
Whatever gain I had, I count as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith - that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus...our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly bodies to be like His glorious body, by the power that enables Him even to subject all things to Himself.
Philippians 3:7-16, 20-21
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