Dallas
It hit me today that I've lived in Dallas for almost 7 months... What?? How has time flown by that quickly? I'm seriously amazed. When the Lord pressed on me to move to Dallas, it was in a matter of a few weeks that I was there. I didn't have time to even sit down and think about it or dwell on what this move could bring. I just up and did it, completely resting and trusting that Christ knew what He was doing.
I didn't adjust quickly, or well. Prior to moving to Dallas, I had promised myself I NEVER would. I may have worked in Dallas, but I hated the city and never wanted to move there. After I made the move, I kept that mentality. The first few months were difficult.
- I was lonely, with a handful of Dallas "friends" - mainly just my roommate (shout out, emily. you are beyond amazing and an incredible blessing in my life)
- My youth girls were in Lewisville, and I didn't get to see them near as much.
- My friends were in Lewisville, and I was being prideful about not wanting to make new ones.
- I didn't like the Dallas campus, nor did I want to try to like it
- Dallas people made me so frustrated and angry; their entitlement and materialism.
I could continue. But notice a pattern? It was all about me. I begrudgingly obeyed Christ in moving to Dallas, but I stopped with that. There I was, sitting in my own sin of pride, entitlement, and control. Instead of looking around me for ways to serve, loving the lost around me, reaching out and making friends, getting invested in my city, making much of HIM in my life, etc I chose to take the easy way out and just make it all about me.
In the Lord's grace, discipline, and love, He didn't allow me to stay there long. Over the past few months, I have been beyond blessed and loved by my Savior as He has sanctified me. He has crushed my pride and slowly but surely, is teaching me what it means to serve and love the body and the lost around me. Instead of sitting around having a pity party, I (with ALL His strength) stepped out to make friendships. It was hard and awkward, to say the least. I asked a friend of mine (shout out brent bell) if anything fun was happening in Dallas. That week I went to a "warming" party at some girls house, and the rest is history. That night I met some guys and girls (you know who you are - shout out) that have been used mightily the past few months to point me to my Savior. I leave hang outs, volleyball, coffee dates, parties, etc...just wanting more of Jesus and His glory. THAT is what the body of Christ ought to be. I'm so edified and encouraged I could cry (which I do often) :)
What the Lord has taught me about those prior selfish fears:
- I'm not alone. I'm human, so I will experience days of loneliness, but I am never alone. Ever. With each passing day, His intimate nearness is closer than the day before. He is my everything, and I don't ever have to feel alone because of that. Not only that, but I have the most amazing family. Not just my physical family, but my spiritual family. I've learned more about community and how the body of Christ works these past few months than I almost ever have. It really has been surreal and beautiful.
- My youth girls ARE still in Lewisville, and some days are hard. But it's been for GOOD. It's humbled me to know the Lord works with or without me. I've been able to have them come out and experience Dallas, they've realized they can't just rely on me, and it's forced me to stay true to my word and commitments, when driving 40 minutes comes into play. Half of them graduate this year and the other half next year. After next year I'll be saying goodbye for real to any ties to the Flower Mound campus. (but really, who even knows? Only Him. so, I may take that back...) :)
- I do have friends in Lewisville, and I'm thankful for them just as I am for the friends I've made here. It's totally different and sanctifying in different ways. Most of my friends in L are married, which I love to walk alongside. But having been so used to that, it's been surprisingly refreshing and encouraging to walk alongside men and women who "GET" me, who understand the life of a mid to upper 20s single person. Ah. We gotta stick together :) So blessed by all those I do life with.
- I now ADORE the Dallas campus. This part the Lord just ripped to shreds, showing me that the body is not just one specific building or campus, but everywhere. It is so beautiful to worship week in, week out with this body. Man...I can't say enough about how I've just grown to love this campus.
- I'm in Dallas and around "Dallas people" so that I might make much of Christ. My sin of anger and frustration MUST be daily nailed on the cross, just as the sins of entitlement and materialism are.
So. 7 months. Wow...I really never ever saw that coming, and every day, I love it more and more. ME? The farm girl loving the city of Dallas? WHAT THE HECK! Ha. The ironies of the Lord and His sovereignty. I am SO thankful He keeps His plan for my life a secret and mystery, because I wouldn't believe it ahead of time. I'm so thankful for Jesus and who He is. I'm thankful He chose me and saved me, and that He gives me the desire to know Him deeply. That desire and passion in me comes from Him. It's not myself. I'm thankful He's zealously after my heart and won't relent until He has it all. I'm thankful He works in ways I cannot imagine or foresee, and that His name is glorified in that. I just love Jesus a lot. I'm thankful for the brothers and sisters I have made; I'm thankful we're running this race together. Man...life in Jesus really is just sweet. I can't imagine what eternity in His glory must be like! Let the legit dance parties begin!!!
Dallas, you've surprised me. Thanks for being real :)
I didn't adjust quickly, or well. Prior to moving to Dallas, I had promised myself I NEVER would. I may have worked in Dallas, but I hated the city and never wanted to move there. After I made the move, I kept that mentality. The first few months were difficult.
- I was lonely, with a handful of Dallas "friends" - mainly just my roommate (shout out, emily. you are beyond amazing and an incredible blessing in my life)
- My youth girls were in Lewisville, and I didn't get to see them near as much.
- My friends were in Lewisville, and I was being prideful about not wanting to make new ones.
- I didn't like the Dallas campus, nor did I want to try to like it
- Dallas people made me so frustrated and angry; their entitlement and materialism.
I could continue. But notice a pattern? It was all about me. I begrudgingly obeyed Christ in moving to Dallas, but I stopped with that. There I was, sitting in my own sin of pride, entitlement, and control. Instead of looking around me for ways to serve, loving the lost around me, reaching out and making friends, getting invested in my city, making much of HIM in my life, etc I chose to take the easy way out and just make it all about me.
In the Lord's grace, discipline, and love, He didn't allow me to stay there long. Over the past few months, I have been beyond blessed and loved by my Savior as He has sanctified me. He has crushed my pride and slowly but surely, is teaching me what it means to serve and love the body and the lost around me. Instead of sitting around having a pity party, I (with ALL His strength) stepped out to make friendships. It was hard and awkward, to say the least. I asked a friend of mine (shout out brent bell) if anything fun was happening in Dallas. That week I went to a "warming" party at some girls house, and the rest is history. That night I met some guys and girls (you know who you are - shout out) that have been used mightily the past few months to point me to my Savior. I leave hang outs, volleyball, coffee dates, parties, etc...just wanting more of Jesus and His glory. THAT is what the body of Christ ought to be. I'm so edified and encouraged I could cry (which I do often) :)
What the Lord has taught me about those prior selfish fears:
- I'm not alone. I'm human, so I will experience days of loneliness, but I am never alone. Ever. With each passing day, His intimate nearness is closer than the day before. He is my everything, and I don't ever have to feel alone because of that. Not only that, but I have the most amazing family. Not just my physical family, but my spiritual family. I've learned more about community and how the body of Christ works these past few months than I almost ever have. It really has been surreal and beautiful.
- My youth girls ARE still in Lewisville, and some days are hard. But it's been for GOOD. It's humbled me to know the Lord works with or without me. I've been able to have them come out and experience Dallas, they've realized they can't just rely on me, and it's forced me to stay true to my word and commitments, when driving 40 minutes comes into play. Half of them graduate this year and the other half next year. After next year I'll be saying goodbye for real to any ties to the Flower Mound campus. (but really, who even knows? Only Him. so, I may take that back...) :)
- I do have friends in Lewisville, and I'm thankful for them just as I am for the friends I've made here. It's totally different and sanctifying in different ways. Most of my friends in L are married, which I love to walk alongside. But having been so used to that, it's been surprisingly refreshing and encouraging to walk alongside men and women who "GET" me, who understand the life of a mid to upper 20s single person. Ah. We gotta stick together :) So blessed by all those I do life with.
- I now ADORE the Dallas campus. This part the Lord just ripped to shreds, showing me that the body is not just one specific building or campus, but everywhere. It is so beautiful to worship week in, week out with this body. Man...I can't say enough about how I've just grown to love this campus.
- I'm in Dallas and around "Dallas people" so that I might make much of Christ. My sin of anger and frustration MUST be daily nailed on the cross, just as the sins of entitlement and materialism are.
So. 7 months. Wow...I really never ever saw that coming, and every day, I love it more and more. ME? The farm girl loving the city of Dallas? WHAT THE HECK! Ha. The ironies of the Lord and His sovereignty. I am SO thankful He keeps His plan for my life a secret and mystery, because I wouldn't believe it ahead of time. I'm so thankful for Jesus and who He is. I'm thankful He chose me and saved me, and that He gives me the desire to know Him deeply. That desire and passion in me comes from Him. It's not myself. I'm thankful He's zealously after my heart and won't relent until He has it all. I'm thankful He works in ways I cannot imagine or foresee, and that His name is glorified in that. I just love Jesus a lot. I'm thankful for the brothers and sisters I have made; I'm thankful we're running this race together. Man...life in Jesus really is just sweet. I can't imagine what eternity in His glory must be like! Let the legit dance parties begin!!!
Dallas, you've surprised me. Thanks for being real :)
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